sitting in meditation this morning, i had what felt like a profound realization. it seemed pretty obvious immediately afterward, but i think it felt profound in the moment because i was experiencing it in my body.
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many of you know that, as 2020 came to a close, i was clear i needed to leave The Refuge. after a year of pandemic and other changes, i could no longer live within the form into which it had morphed. i wrote fairly extensively about our process of leaving The Refuge early last year, but I haven’t really written much about it since then. not publicly at least.
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the grandmother in me wants to say a few things to the grandmothers in you…
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if you really knew me, i struggle with the word hope. it feels like a very slippery, "go around the board for free" kind of word to me.
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if you really knew me, you’d know that lately i've been utterly overwhelmed by the sheer immensity of the words in my head and, in equal measure, the paralysis of self-doubt. on a nearly daily basis, i hear the opening lines for probably ten blogs. then i get busy (in other words, distracted, or, more honestly, avoidant) and don't write a single word. i have so many pieces started and very few finished. about all kinds of things- climate crisis, social justice, my personal journey.
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without further ado, i offer you this Message from Gaia….
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in three days, my daughter and her family are moving 1,000 miles away.
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with millions of people around the world “sheltering in place,” we are not gathering in the ways we usually do for this annual event. but there is something deeply thought-provoking, even reassuring, about not being able to do that today. for those of us who have enjoyed the privileges (usually unacknowledged and assumed) of “normalcy” for far too long, we are being given a unique opportunity to reassess everything about our way of life. if we can be awake to the moment.
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you don’t know me, but i want you to know that i have judged you. for so many things.
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