it's hard to admit... thoughts on historical madness

photo credit: Koshu Kunii, https://unsplash.com/@koshuuu

breathe. open your eyes.

when you feel you can't go on.

when it all feels like

too much. when your heart

is breaking and you feel it 

will consume you, all 

this hatred tear you 

apart, these halls of so-called 

justice, echoed cries 

and loud silences,

"oh, the injustice!" this old

hysterical (no,

sorry, did i say

historical?) madness. this

rhetorical  whiteness laid 

like pipe in our veins.

but. breathe. open your

eyes. for a minute,

consider she who

held the camera in her

shaking hands as she

bore witness to her

kin, unable to breathe, not

knowing if she, too,

might be next. no one

should have to witness that. no

one should have to die

like that. and where was

i? where were we? out in the 

streets the moment we 

heard his heart had stopped

beating? repeating the words

"enough is enough!"

a refrain, pleading

to everyone who looks

like me to cry out,

"breathe. open your eyes,"

when you're watching someone die,

please do not turn a 

blind eye. do not turn

away. do not say it is 

too much, the pressure 

to conform, to watch

and do nothing, or worse, to

egg it on. because,

frankly,

it’s hard to admit 

we’ve been sold a bill of goods

when everything

and everyone 

around us says we are part

of a legacy

which celebrates and 

elevates so-called freedom.

but it comes at the cost

of sovereignty,

of the ability to

choose kindness and Life. 

it’s hard to admit

we're wrong when generations

stand behind our choice

to kill and die for

this project called a country

when everything

we’ve been told about

being a good citizen

leads to knees on necks

by people who will

not say, "enough is enough.

i won’t play this game.”

it’s hard to admit

that the only way all this

killing and dying

and ignoring will

stop is if those of us who

do the killing and

the ignoring and

the celebrating and the

defending commit

to stand up and say

“no more. not on my watch.” i’ve

not done the killing,

but i have not done

enough. so i recommit

to opening my 

eyes, to breathing and

to living as bravely as

i possibly  can.

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