the inimitable Kelly Peach

i don’t know why she 

appeared when i woke. her sly 

grin, twinkling eyes and 

irresistible, 

irreverent honesty 

about ev’rything.

i had a feeling

i’d missed it, her passing, but

i had to find out. 

she had touched me so

deeply, but there was this guilt 

lingering in me

about being just 

an armchair supporter from 

here, sending hugs, love, 

money and emails

to compensate for the raw 

truth that i didn’t

feel i was at her 

level, that i never would 

be. she was beyond

my reach. now i see

i envied her courage and 

ability to

live so fully in

every moment. and i

don’t think it was the

cancer. that’s just who

she was. a real court fool who

saw through it all, through

every story, 

every explanation, 

every excuse 

for anything but

all or nothing. a master 

in the truest sense. 

so i search “Kelly 

Peach cancer” and discover 

she made her exit

almost exactly

one year ago, just after

the pandemic took

center stage. a mix

of regret and gratitude

that i had the chance

to spend even a

few days in her very bright

and human presence

washes over me

as i think of the friends who

knew and loved her so

much more. their pain and

heartache. the hole they must have

in their lives without

her. and then i find

this beautiful piece written

by one of them. it

is perfect. really

perfect. and it reminds me

to Listen, take a

breath and see her, that

all-knowing smile, laughing at

my silly, pointless

machinations as

she says, “get over yourself,

you silly girl. live.“

thank you, Ethan, Veronica, Lau and Shanna, for creating such a sacred and special home at Camp Listen. I will never forget the beautiful part each of you and Kelly played in my life. I love you all. and thank you, Mitch Lewis, for those absolutely perfect words from your vulnerable and honest heart. bless you.

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