unwinding Patriarchy

photo credit: https://unsplash.com/@acton_crawford

in this slow, febrile 

state, i am unwinding old

tapes, too twisted, from

the container of

what used to be me pushing

Patriarchy out.

more accurately,

i am being unwound by

this tiny guest in 

this body, breath by

breath, in the dryness of all

which should be moist, in 

the trembling of limbs

and depths of daytime slumber.

it has taken me

down into the deep

underworld of my tender

psyche, revealing

the slippery strands

of regret, comparison

and anything less

than total presence.

to these honorable and

generous guests, i

surrender, grateful

for this auspicious gift of 

humbleness, and pray

to these sentients,

benevolent and silent,

to earn their trust as

they reshape me from 

within.  how shall we meet these

times we have devised,

now we have entered

between beginning and some

kind of middle? what

shall i offer to 

the unraveling which is 

before us? my frail

habits of drive and

desire, the ones crumbling

under the feathered

weight of the moment?

or something yet to emerge?

perhaps it is not

for me to know right

now (that kind of urgency

being so much a 

part of what needs to

die). perhaps it is only 

for me to abide

in this timeless and

vital moment, a willing

servant to this great

master beyond my

small comprehension, silent,

grateful and alive.

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