i didn’t know a thing
Photo by Julian Wan
for the last few months, i’ve been doing what i call a “deep dive“ into my white privilege and the ugly truth about this place i call home- the so called “United States” of America. i’ve read books, watched and listened to numerous documentaries and podcast episodes, visited more websites than i can count, and read dozens of articles. i’ve had illuminating conversations with people of all colors, ages and political persuasions. please know that i am clear that this very short piece is not, in any way, comprehensive. it will fall short in more ways than i can possibly imagine.
i don't say any of this to make myself look good; rather to say that, as much as i supposedly had a good education, i (like most white citizens in this country) didn’t know a thing. not one damned thing. really. and, although i’ve made this commitment to un/learn as much as i can, i’m realizing two things: one- that i haven’t even begun to scratch the surface of what’s really been going on for the last 400 years, and hasn’t stopped. two- that i can be kind to myself in this process.
the conclusion to which I have come is that there is no issue more foundational to this nation than that of race.
what we (mostly white, mostly male, mostly wealthy) have done to people of color in this country reveals an unparalleled sickness (in the form of trauma- thank you Rezmaa Menakem and April Harter) in the European people who came to this continent hundreds of years ago. it was carried here in the bodies of our ancestors, and has remained and infected every one of us. this sickness has not only been responsible for the tragic deaths of millions of innocent people, it may well be the cause of our demise as a species.
“When people truly understand that when black lives matter, everybody’s life matters, including every single person who enters the justice system and this prison industrial complex. It’s not just only about black lives. it’s about changing the way this country understands human dignity.... it’s about re-humanizing us, all of us, as a people.” -Malkia Devich-Cyril
slavery in this country was, and still is, all about profit... for a very few, very wealthy white people. if you are white and you are under the illusion that our prison system is anything other than that, i urge you to watch 13th. watch it with an open mind and an open heart. watch it with humility, with a willingness to be open to the very strong probability that you had no idea of the truth behind some (or many) of the judgments and opinions you carry about our black and brown kin.
the thing is, i didn’t know that i didn’t know. even though i grew up in a liberal family (actually probably because i did), i was under this illusion that i was a “good white person.” well, guess what? there’s no such thing. i didn’t say that there is no such thing as a good person who happens to be white. i have come to understand that “good white person” is an identity to which i have been attached. now i’m deeply contemplating “who am i, really?” one thing i know is, this is a lifetime body of work and i’m just getting started. more to come.
read... Resmaa Menakem, “My Grandmother’s Hands”. a must for our healing.
watch... 13th, a film every white person in this country should see.
listen... Seeing White, a great podcast.
support... donate to bail funds. it matters.
get involved... vote! learn more about the Black Lives Matter what matters campaign. check out and join organizations like Standing Up for Racial Justice or join the upcoming Beyond Separation zoom intensive to begin your own deep dive.
this is a pitifully short list of resources; for more, check out our ever-evolving RE:search page.
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