to my white friends who feel stuck
Photo by Ryoji Iwata
like other white folks i know, i’ve been feeling “stuck” for a couple of months now. i wasn’t sure why until today. i think there’s something inherent in experiencing a pandemic which can give rise to feelings of fear, paralysis and numbness. in a way, i see that what we’re going through collectively is a global grieving process, and we’re experiencing ourselves in one or more of the stages (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance) of that process. i know i’ve definitely been in the depression stage for a while- feeling, well, stuck.
at the same time, the pandemic has highlighted some of the very real problems that folks who look like me have been avoiding for long enough- especially here in the United States. many of us are seeing for the first time how this system has never served anyone except for those at the very top of the social class and income ladders. we’re also learning how we have been complicit in many forms of oppression, overtly or covertly.
for hundreds of years, we’ve been conditioned into believing that we have to look out for ourselves (at the expense of others) and make sure we get ahead (of whom?) in a zero-sum game of “us vs. them” - racism, sexism, ageism, classism - designed to keep us from discovering what’s going on behind closed doors at the highest levels of government and corporation. we’ve been duped into making our perceived positions more important than coming together to question and redesign our so-called democracy. whether we’re aware of it or not, whether we like it or not, we’ve been buying into the narrative and playing the game.
the thing is, we have a unique opportunity in front of us to truly re-imagine our society right now. the only way to change is to come together, humbly (especially us white folks) and in service to a better human presence than we have created and allowed thus far. i have so much to learn, from everyone, and i want to say that, in no way, do i think i am addressing every issue and aspect of what’s happening in this short piece. however, in honor of the learning i’ve been pursuing, each week i’ll post a few things that have been helpful in my process, along with a few words from my experience that week. i very much hope that you take the time to check them out. i’d love to hear about your journey, too. this is our moment!
read… this beautiful, vulnerable and ass-kicking article by Christina Pride.
watch… this powerful video of some of Frederick Douglass’s descendants as they recite excerpts of his famous speech, "What to the Slave is the Fourth of July?"
listen… to the Seeing White podcast by Scene On Radio… an eye-opening, heart-opening season all about whiteness. they have other equally compelling seasons, too- check them out!
get involved… check out Make America Dinner Again. an amazing organization which brings folks of different opinions together to listen to and learn from each other.
support… Lead to Life, turning guns into shovels to honor those who have been killed in gun violence.
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